Coffee With Maddie




Yesterday a woman I work with came up to me and said, “Do I look like a man to you?” Oh-oh! I knew someone had said something to offend her. My guess was either a customer or one of the teenagers we work with were to blame. After I assured her that she didn’t look like a man, I asked her why she was asking me that. She said, “Do I look like a ‘dude’ to you? Because I’ve had three babies in my life and I’m pretty sure I’m not a dude! And she just keeps calling me that and I don’t appreciate it.” Well, that cleared up the question of who offended her - it was one of the teenagers.

My older co-worker has raised three boys and is now a grandma. The word dude was not a household word when her boys were growing up. My situation is a bit different. I’m also raising three boys, but my boys are ages 19, 12 and 10 and dude is definitely a word used daily at my house - many, many times daily. When one of my son’s friends walks in and says “Yo dude, ‘sup?” I know exactly what’s being said. Scary, huh?!

There are about four of us where I work who are over the age of 40. The other 25-30 employees are under the age of 21 - mostly teenagers. The young girl who called her ‘dude’ was just using a different definition of the word than my older co-worker was. I’m sure what was said wasn’t meant to offend her, but it did. According to the Urban Dictionary (an on-line slang dictionary), dude means a comrade or friend. According to Miriam-Webster the meaning is a bit different. It means a man extremely fastidious in dress and manner. To the younger employee the word dude was most likely used as a term of endearment. The older employee thought she was being treated disrespectfully. What it boiled down to was a misunderstanding due to a generation gap.

In an age where we’re to be politically correct in everything we say or do, it’s really difficult to not fall into one or more of the many different gaps in our society. We have the generation gap, the racial gap, the religious gap, the gender gap, the Vikings/Packers gap, etc. We continually run the risk of offending someone. Journalist Charles Osgood had this to say about the subject, “Being politically correct means always having to say you’re sorry.” Isn’t that the truth! Unfortunately, some days my feet spend more time in my mouth than on the floor.

What’s a girl (or guy) to do? How do we keep from saying things that offend other people? Here are a few ideas to ponder: 1) Take a minute to THINK before you speak. That’s a novel thought for me. It certainly cuts down on the number of apologies that need to be made. 2) Remember the golden rule: “Do unto others what you would have them do unto you!” I’m sure this is talking our words as well as our actions. 3) When I told my teenage son about the whole ‘dude’ situation, he had a different idea. His comment to me was this: “I think people should learn to just let things go and not get so offended about everything.” Amen to that.

So if a young person comes up to you in the near future and says, “Yo dude, ‘sup?” Don’t be offended. Just smile and say, “I dunno, ‘sup with you?” That’ll surprise them and possibly open up some wonderful lines of communication!

Until next week . . . God bless you and yours! -Maddie

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Coffee With Maddie: Archive;
Blessings
Magazine Junkie!
Maddie Goes to College
Changes
Let the season begin!
Getting Older!
I'm Getting Fat!
I Love a good book!
Family Games
Manners!
Someone to Love
A Special Anniversary
New Year Goals
My Spinal Tap!
The Book Store
I Salute Our Men in Uniform
Valentine's Day
My Birthday Choices
Current Events and Politics
Cabin Fever
We Can Choose the Words We Use
Let's Get Organized!
Support Our Troops
Acts of Kindness
Find Something to Do!
Yippee, Spring!
Yo Dude

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About the Author;
Maddie is a dear friend from the Midwest who will touch your heart with her gentle stories of home of family. You can just picture yourself at the kitchen table any early morning with Maddie, a fresh cup of coffee, maybe the smell of bacon in the air, and a log on the fire to take out the chill.

Talk to Maddie at ...
Maddie@boomerjournals.com