Coffee With Maddie




When my oldest son was home during Thanksgiving break, he and I went shopping at Mall of America. One of the stores we visited was Hot Topic. Hot Topic is a store that specializes in clothes, accessories, gifts and music for a certain portion of the teenage population. Their merchandise reflects music related lifestyles - particularly the punk and gothic lifestyles. While those aren’t my choices of music or dress, I usually shop there to buy shirts with band names on them for my son. I’m sure the employees (or owner) love to see us moms come in for two reasons: 1) The looks on our faces as we look at some of the merchandise, and 2) The money we’re willing to spend!

Since I don’t mean this to be an advertisement for Hot Topic . . . let me get to the point. The point I want to get across here is one of manners (or lack thereof). While in the store, a very nice young woman waited on us. I wasn’t rude to her verbally, but the fact that I found it hard to talk with her or establish eye contact because of her choice of adornment (many, many piercings on her face, a tattoo and a rather unique hairstyle) had me feeling bad as I left the store. I found myself wondering why I should treat her any differently than the employee at Nordstrom’s who waited on me earlier (and was probably wearing a Jones of New York suit)? The answer was: I SHOULDN’T! They were both nice women who were willing to help me with anything I needed and both deserved my kindness and respect in return.

In the past 18 years (the amount of time my oldest has been around) my husband and I have said the following phrases countless times: “What do you say?” or “What’s the magic word?” or “Make sure to mind your manners!” Why? Because we were both raised in families where good manners were not only taught, but expected and we’ve tried to pass that same habit on to our three boys. What they do with what they’ve learned when they aren’t around us or move away from home is clearly up to them. Our hope is they’ll remember to follow the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Today I picked up a number of books on manners from the library. While I just skimmed through a few of them, I read one from cover to cover: The Berenstain Bears Forget Their Manners, by Stan and Jan Berenstain. If you haven’t had the pleasure of reading the Berenstain books, do yourself a favor and stop in to your local library or bookstore and check them out! In this particular book, Mama Bear is tired of the lack of manners in her family and she sets out to do something about it. She establishes “The Bear Family Politeness Plan.” The goal is to replace rudeness (name calling, interrupting, forgetting “please” or “thank you,” etc.) with politeness. There are penalties for being rude. The young bears catch on quickly, but Papa Bear has quite a time changing some bad habits and ends up facing a number of penalties (work)!

A counselor once told me if more people would read and follow the advice given in the Berenstain’s books, our world would be a much, much better place to live. I agree! My goal in the coming months is to incorporate the “Politeness Plan” into areas of my life that need it (particularly the “interrupting” habit). This holiday season and into the coming year, please give others the kindness and respect they deserve, even if they choose a different manner of lifestyle than your own.

Until next week . . . God bless you and yours! -Maddie

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Coffee With Maddie: Archive;
Blessings
Magazine Junkie!
Maddie Goes to College
Changes
Let the season begin!
Getting Older!
I'm Getting Fat!
I Love a good book!
Family Games

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About the Author;
Maddie is a dear friend from the Midwest who will touch your heart with her gentle stories of home of family. You can just picture yourself at the kitchen table any early morning with Maddie, a fresh cup of coffee, maybe the smell of bacon in the air, and a log on the fire to take out the chill.

Talk to Maddie at ...
Maddie@boomerjournals.com