Coffee With Maddie




Ahhhhh . . . ‘tis the season of love! Valentine’s Day is one of my favorite holidays. It’s a perfect time to tell all those important people in my life just how much they mean to me.

I like to buy small gifts for my husband, my boys and my friends. I know I can do that all year long . . . but, there’s just something special about Valentine’s Day. My women’s trio happens to be singing at a fund-raiser that evening so I’ll have the privilege of singing love songs to my sweetheart, as well as about 300 other people.

I don’t want to mislead you - my husband and I haven’t had a fairy tale marriage!! We’ve definitely had our ups and downs. There’ve been times in our marriage when I most certainly wouldn’t have sung love songs to him on Valentine’s Day! In his defense, he wouldn’t have sung them to me either. What he and I came to realize through those years was that marriage, just like any other relationship, takes a lot of work. Fortunately, we made it through those tough times. Our relationship is on one of the “ups” right now and we are hoping and working to keep it there.

During a particularly down time in our marriage, we spent some time in counseling. It was helpful to have that third voice encouraging us to find the love we once had for each other. He had us date again and helped us remember why we fell in love in the first place. Also during that time we found two books which were very helpful (and much less expensive than counseling).

The first book I’ve mentioned before: Personality Plus, by Florence Littauer. In it is a test you can take to determine your personality type. Once you take the test, she gives descriptions of the different personality types, paying close attention to the strengths and weaknesses of each one. It is a very easy, enjoyable read that helped us to understand each other much better.

The second book is called The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. Chapman proposes that people express and receive love in different ways. He’s identified five love languages: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service and physical touch. More often than not we tend to express our own love language because we assume that's what the other person needs. What my husband and I learned to do was to express the appropriate love language to each other. Fifteen years after counseling we’re still together!

Since there are some who haven’t been as fortunate as us, I realize this particular holiday isn’t quite as pleasant for them. I’m in a women’s group with 9 other women. Some of us are married, some are divorced and a couple are widows. We’ll all deal with the holiday in different ways. For a few of us it has the potential to be a very special day, for others it will simply be a day to get past. How about you? What will you be doing on Valentine’s Day this year?

Katherine Hepburn had this to say about love: “Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting - only with what you are expecting to give - which is everything.” What do you have to give this Valentine’s Day? Please take time to share some of your love with someone who might need it. Give a lot! It’s almost guaranteed to not only brighten their day, but to brighten yours as well.

Until next week . . . God bless you and yours! -Maddie

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Coffee With Maddie: Archive;
Blessings
Magazine Junkie!
Maddie Goes to College
Changes
Let the season begin!
Getting Older!
I'm Getting Fat!
I Love a good book!
Family Games
Manners!
Someone to Love
A Special Anniversary
New Year Goals
My Spinal Tap!
The Book Store
I Salute Our Men in Uniform

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About the Author;
Maddie is a dear friend from the Midwest who will touch your heart with her gentle stories of home of family. You can just picture yourself at the kitchen table any early morning with Maddie, a fresh cup of coffee, maybe the smell of bacon in the air, and a log on the fire to take out the chill.

Talk to Maddie at ...
Maddie@boomerjournals.com